windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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