did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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