Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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