how hairy? two words: wookie tits
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
