dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You left your phone here
Wait...
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