bring money and cleavage
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
