you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just want to make out with him forever
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Randomize
