There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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