We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
