Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Randomize
