how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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