I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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