Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
