some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
