Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
