My nipple is on Facebook.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
These tits shall not be calmed
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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