Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
