Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
