you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
