i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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