therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
