they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i was born a porn star she said
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
