Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I don't deserve a penis
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
