No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
She needs sedatives and a leash
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
