omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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