You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
