I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
