Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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