i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Randomize
