Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
