my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
