I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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