are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
