So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
