Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
