Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
