I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
