i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
