when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
