Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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