Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
