remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
