So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
