I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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