doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I think I am morally bankrupt
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Hippo gnu deer
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
