I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
