well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
