I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
