Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
