apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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