just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
