I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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