He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize