nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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